Today I Learned About Loss
I think it is safe to say that all of us on some level have had an increased amount of loss in 2020. Or at the very least, under the circumstances perhaps we feel the wave of our losses more deeply.
I know several people who have lost a family member during this time. A brother, a daughter, a father, a son, a pet. I know those who have lost jobs, retirement funds, homes, schedules, health, contact with their loved ones, even facets of their freedom. These types of losses happen and will continue to happen long after our current shelter in place situations. Why then do these losses seem so much more substantial? Perhaps it is the added layer of complication that living during a global pandemic, the screaming reminders of an absence of civil justice and equality, or maybe the way that our separations during this time make it more complicated to find closure, support, take action, or just a simple conversation over coffee with a friend.
If you have lost something or many things seemingly big or small, I see you, I hear you. Aside from my routine, my job as I once knew it, I have lost touch with many that I care about. I had to let go of the idea of reaching several goals I had set for myself. I lost trust in one of my closest relationships, I lost a pet, and I think the one that stings the most right now is that I’ve seemingly lost my way, my true north.
Are we all a little lost right now?
I have two quotes that are on my desk that I read almost daily. Reminders that this is temporary. With loss follows opportunity for new.
“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.” - J.R.R. Tolkien
This opportunity can be fueled with the best part of the things we loose to create something even better.
“Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can’t always see this light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving…You will come to a better place.” - Uncle Iroh
A light that keeps me going is the idea of working with my students each week. This opportunity to re-think teaching and become an even better educator even if it means wading through so much unknown. Another is that where one relationship has collapsed another or even OTHERS have and will continue to emerge. Another is the short list of sweet memories of Sunny for the time he was with us. And yet another is that my failure to reach a goal doesn’t have to be the end but just an opportunity to change my strategy and timing to continue the journey towards reaching that goal.
Find your light friends, follow that light with clarity, tenacity, and fierce hope.