Today I learned...

Today I learned that I am not at all relieved with the way this election turned out. I am not joyous, I am not vindicated; if anything I am aware. While I do celebrate that we have a black woman as Vice President Elect and a proven experienced leader as President Elect, I am not at all comforted by the trajectory my country is set upon. It is clear there is a gaping wound, a vast divide in the United States. I would go so far as to say the very word “united” ceases to exist.  What I am sharing here is my opinion, my story through this learning experience. It is not facts, of course there will be some thoughts based on factual information but please remember this is one person speaking on their truth, not THE truth that is meant to be manipulated, persuaded or forced upon anyone else. If you are reading this, I would encourage you to listen, to be still, to be open. 

If I were to guess, if I asked every American to give me a one word response to why the voted for the presidential candidate of his or her choice, I would think there would be a pretty limited vocabulary of answers. Words perhaps like freedom, democracy, good, evil, justice. Why are we at such odds in seeking the same things? I like to think we humans all are after the same things: things we need: love, health, safety, and peace. Over the years, l’ve noticed that I can trace everything down a path to needing to love or be loved, needing to be healthy/safe or provide heath/safety for others, or to create peace for myself or be a part of creating peace for others. If there is fear or anger there is usually an absence of one of those four. If I am in pain or sad, usually an absence of one of those four things. If I think about the people who have hurt me the most over the years and really listen or see the whole picture, it is because that person was not loved, not healthy, not safe, and or not at peace.  What makes me happiest? Being healthy and safe, seeing others having the same, being at and creating peace for others, and most of all loving and being loved. 

I wonder what our country, our world would look like if each of us would listen to the other about what makes us feel loved, safe, healthy and peaceful. Can we find ways to ensure that everyone has these four things without bringing harm to another? I am a realist to know that it is unlikely we may ever get to that end but I for one am willing to move forward imperfectly in pursuit of this.  I am willing to listen and accept. I want to know what makes you feel loved, healthy, safe, and at peace. Would you do the same for me, for others? Would you do the same for yourself?  I for one feel loved when I love, I feel safer knowing others are safe, I am healthy in providing ways for others to be healthy, and find peace in fostering peace for others. 

I will leave you with one of the best quotes for these times even if it is getting a lot of use these days. I will share in a non biased way in the words of RBG: “fight for things you care about but do it in a way that will lead others to join you”. 

May we all be loved, may we all be safe, may we all be healthy, may we all find peace. 

My ears are open, I am ready to listen. 

Love, light and peace be with you,

Today I learned...

Today I learned that one cubic yard of dirt or soil like material weighs approximately 1.5 tons! This 900 sq. foot garden project I have going takes about 5 cubic yards to get 4 inches of soil depth in the planter boxes. First we made walk ways with 5 cubic yards of decomposed granite. We filled the bottom of the planters with all the live oak leaves from only TWO of our trees, yes that’s how big these trees are and how many leaves they drop in March/April. Next fill soil! We used 8 cubic yards of soil as a less expensive base level for the planters. As a side note when we put the fence posts in I forgot that I had ordered enough to make myself a fancy little pergola to hang out under in the garden…this might turn into my outdoor teaching studio if the weather cools down a bit!

As a side note I also learned that it is not a good idea to use concrete to set the fence posts in the cinder blocks…they cracked! I’m hoping with a little patching solution and the extra support of the soil, things will be fine. Only time will tell. I’m kinda making this up as I go folks so mistakes are always learning experiences!

Today I Learned...

Today I Learned About Loss

I think it is safe to say that all of us on some level have had an increased amount of loss in 2020. Or at the very least, under the circumstances perhaps we feel the wave of our losses more deeply.

I know several people who have lost a family member during this time. A brother, a daughter, a father, a son, a pet. I know those who have lost jobs, retirement funds, homes, schedules, health, contact with their loved ones, even facets of their freedom. These types of losses happen and will continue to happen long after our current shelter in place situations. Why then do these losses seem so much more substantial? Perhaps it is the added layer of complication that living during a global pandemic, the screaming reminders of an absence of civil justice and equality, or maybe the way that our separations during this time make it more complicated to find closure, support, take action, or just a simple conversation over coffee with a friend.

If you have lost something or many things seemingly big or small, I see you, I hear you. Aside from my routine, my job as I once knew it, I have lost touch with many that I care about. I had to let go of the idea of reaching several goals I had set for myself. I lost trust in one of my closest relationships, I lost a pet, and I think the one that stings the most right now is that I’ve seemingly lost my way, my true north.

Are we all a little lost right now?

I have two quotes that are on my desk that I read almost daily. Reminders that this is temporary. With loss follows opportunity for new.

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.” - J.R.R. Tolkien

This opportunity can be fueled with the best part of the things we loose to create something even better.

“Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can’t always see this light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving…You will come to a better place.” - Uncle Iroh

A light that keeps me going is the idea of working with my students each week. This opportunity to re-think teaching and become an even better educator even if it means wading through so much unknown. Another is that where one relationship has collapsed another or even OTHERS have and will continue to emerge. Another is the short list of sweet memories of Sunny for the time he was with us. And yet another is that my failure to reach a goal doesn’t have to be the end but just an opportunity to change my strategy and timing to continue the journey towards reaching that goal.

Find your light friends, follow that light with clarity, tenacity, and fierce hope.

Today I Learned...

Today I learned that I have 900 square feet of full sun in my back yard that is just being used by my dogs as a luxurious bathroom. We have had a garden in this space before but the lack of time and very aggressive grass and weeds made it impossible to keep up with!

To put it lightly 2020 has been a rough year for all of us in some way or another. I personally go from wanting to all the things to wanting to just sleep, not much in between.

Taking on this crazy project myself (ok, ok Chris is helping and the dogs are their for moral support and to dig in the compost), is huge! Every day I do a little bit until I’m tired or too hot because its summer and Texas! Then I rest, and do a little more. There have been very few days this summer when I haven’t at least done something out there. And it’s simple I don’t have to think too hard about picking up a cinderblock, digging a trench, shoveling crushed granite or dirt. The sun for a time feels so warm and comforting as it beats down on the back of my neck and shoulders.

I have a great tan line where my gloves, t-shirt and Chacos have been. it’s almost as awesome as a marching band tan! Little by little this thing is coming together and I hope to have enough veggies to share before the first frost - if we even get one!

I’ll keep posting progress as time goes by…

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live in peace and be loved.

Today I Learned...

“The knee bends but the chi remains straight”

Ok, here’s a little context. I am preparing to test for 1st degree black sash in August at my Shaolin-Do school. I’ve been studying Tai Chi Chuan for a little over two years. In a recent seminar, our Grand Master teaching on chi kung (qigong) made a similar remark to “the knee bends but the chi remains straight”. This remark in particular grabbed my attention but I will come back to that shortly. 

What is Chi? The simple answer is energy. The more complex definitions I’ve heard over the years have been mental focus, life force, universal energy, etc. 

Chi Kung means “energy work”. This particular practice has come to enrich my life in more ways than one. We study Chi Kung breathing forms as part of our Tai Chi curriculum in part to discover and move chi within ourselves. This “energy work” fosters growth and stability physically, mentally, and spiritually. In turn it is possible to increase vitality, creativity and love for ourselves as well as others. 

Back to “the knee bends but the chi remains straight”.  I often think in metaphors which is probably why I am drawn so much to this “chi stuff”. When he said this I immediately got an image of a tree whipping around in a tumultuous storm. The trunk swayed back and forth as the wind and rain continued to beat down ripping all the leaves and some of the branches off. But the tree remained, the roots deep underground held that tree in place. 

We all go through storms, changes, uncomfortable, painful, and fearful moments. However you choose to think about “chi” remember friends we can be bent but not broken if we connect or ground ourselves to that which remains constant.

Today I Learned...

Hey there. So I’m going to start a blog. Yea yea, I know this is a little bit behind and everyone is now doing a vlog but call me old fashioned. This is going to hopefully be a collection of learning experiences. Enjoy!